Wow, thats a big statement, right? I know! It sounds crazy. Especially if you feel like life is running you…You hate your job, you hate your home life, you hate that you eat Oreos at night and have ballooned to a size that you have never been before.
It’s easy to be despondent over these things. It’s even easier to let life overtake you. I know this because I have done all the above for years. I became someone that was kinda an A-hole, and was even more of an A-hole in my relationships with others.
So what do you do when life overtakes you?
Thats the million dollar question, right? Every guru on earth tries to answer this for every person who is seeking help, because honestly, I think about 85-90% of people are in this category and just don’t know how to get out….
SOS! 911! Help me help you….
Ok, lets get down and dirty people….
7 tips to get your groove back and take control…go!
Explore your options and stop being a baby. I don’t mean this the way you think. Now that I have your attention, what I want you to stop doing is being afraid. I want you to write down what you want. So, lets say you wrote down “I want to be my own boss.” Thats awesome! But now you actually have to go further and think about what that looks like. Don’t be whining about how you hate your job, your boss sucks and don’t even get you started about the crappy stapler and pens you have in your desk…Well, I say man up. Actually look at the problem. I will give you an example. I hated my job. I became super negative and was frustrated all the time. I had anxiety even driving to work. I made excellent money, and I was terrified to give that up. So, I wrote down what I wanted. Then I had to write how I was gonna get there. Then I wrote what I would do if I *gasp* failed. I was terrified. I didn’t want to really explore it, because I was a cry baby pee-pee pants and it scared the bejesus out of me…What you will absolutely have to do if you want to change your circumstance and take back control of your life is examine it. Think about it. Dwell on it. Dream about it. Doing those things makes you find solutions to your issues. It may even be that you don’t necessarily hate your job, but that you want more freedom to be creative with it. Who knows what will come out of that noggin!
Be courageous. Change is absolutely terrifying. Like Freddy Krueger scary. However, that is the only way that things change. So you explored your options (and were a baby—I get it, its nice to be a mushroom and feed off your own BS) and now you decide that you want to take back control in some aspect of your life. At this point, you have to be courageous. You have to plan your strategy and know that you are going to act on it. Some people live their life close to the vest and regret every minute of it. Think about what you will say at age 90. Will you say that you lived life to the fullest and did what you wanted? Or will you say that you had to do things you hated and that you really want a do-over. Unfortunately, you don’t get a do-over. You will be a blue-haired hag that hated her life and shouts “go to hell” at any passerby if you haven’t done what you wanted in life.
Action speaks volumes. All the above is great, but you have to put your money where your mouth is. You have written down your goals, you have got the moxy to get it ready to work…but now? Now the pedal is to the metal. Now, you have to breath, and go for it! Its scary, but so freaking freeing to be living your dream, even if its for a day, a week, or a month. You may be broke, you may not get what you want out of it, but you are getting in the game with action.
Be tenacious. Not only will you need courage, bu taking back your life means that you will need to keep getting in the fight to continue to keep what you want in your life. So, if you are now working for yourself, and you don’t have enough clients and you want to quit—look at what you did to get there! Are you gonna quit when it might be the single best thing in your life? Are you going to crawl back to your old job, your old life that you hated, and play it safe? Lets say you decided to start your own business. Did you know that 8 out of 10 businesses fail after 5 years?! Will that be you? No. No, it won’t because you are like gum on a shoe and don’t give up, thats why!
Get a mentor. Its all cool when you wrote down your goal and you started taking back your life, but it comes with some hard knocks. Welcome to life. However, getting a mentor can make your life so much better in so many ways. One way is that now, you can bounce ideas off someone other than your spouse who may not be super excited with you doing the whole “taking back your life” thing and think it’s a freaking menopausal moment. Also, they have been there done that, so can give you tips on what to avoid and what to do. A mentor is invaluable and I think in the lean times, the times where you feel like giving up, thats when a mentor makes all the difference.
Be flexible. Don’t be so ridged that you’re “taking back your life” thing has to be one way. You may find that you started doing one thing in your life and thought you were meant to do that, then you found something else that may compliment or be more efficient. For instance-when I took the step to leave my job and started mobile personal training, I really thought that I was going to own a gym and that I was just going to do the mobile for a period of time. I found I loved mobile training so I ditched the gym idea. I mean, I am my own boss so I do get to do what I want, right?
Give back to others. Yes, you may have done this thing out of selfish reasons, but now, you can pay it forward. If you decided you were going to take back your life by losing 60 pounds and did all the above and lost it, wouldn’t you want to help others through their journey? It is likely that you would.
Don’t waste time, do what is right for you, and do what you want to do. Think about what your 90 year-old self would say. Would she say, “I was too wussy to try and now I am peeing on myself and hate my life” or would she say, “I had the best life ever! I did stupid things and did spectacular things, and I am a freaking badass grandma and I am ok with peeing on myself now…” Taking back your life is scary, but exciting, too, because you are being your authentic self. You are doing what you are meant to do, and to get a little existential about it, maybe, just maybe you were meant to take back your life and contribute your gifts to the world. Can you imagine a world without previous great leaders? Mother Theresa? Yeah, she lived in poverty, loved on people, did as much good as possible and died at the age of a million and was a total badass. Mother Theresa was just like you and me, (except nicer) but that doesn’t mean she was better than us, it means she took her life to the level she wanted and wasn’t a wuss about it. Don’t wuss out—your life is too important and the world needs you to give what you got whole-heartedly.